We’ve all been putting toxins into our bodies for years, even if we don’t know it. Just being alive after the Industrial Revolution puts us all at risk for unnecessary toxins, weird chemical by-products, and various and sundry unnatural, ultimately harmful, materials into our bodies. While it’s true that none of these are in theory) at absolutely poisonous levels, it’s still been recommended that adults go through some sort of body detox regimen once per year.

The Millenials are safe because we’ve finally gotten the PR battle about clean living right. The days when it might be outside of the norm to stay virginal till married (though we REALLY don’t recommend that) and to never have touched a cigarette or tasted beer by the time you’re fifteen are gone. It was through the trial-and-error phase of the clean living movement– my generation– that so many people got the propaganda wrong and, as such, it’s my generation who will need these sorts of treatments more often, and soon.

Haven’t we learned from the glut of Baby-Boomers clogging up Social Security that the whole “Be fruitful and multiply” thing has gotten way, way out of hand? So you’ve come onto this site, you realize that we’ve got food shortages across the globe, that our credit and financial systems are total wrecks, and you have the sheer audacity to look for ways to live LONGER?

So now that you know that we understand you (or at least we’d like to think we do,) consider this:

So before you go any further with this– before you start ordering your lifetime supply of body detox from this or any other site, please consider: your willingness to better yourself and your desire to live a happier, cleaner, and longer life may well be in the way of the development of a new one. So before you make the choice to improve your own life, ask yourself: is your life really worth prolonging?